first_in_time | Zagreus Sits Inside Your Head (for Splendid

Barbara looked out at the view as Ian put the last of their things in the car. From the front door of the little Bed and Breakfast, she could see beautiful rolling hills for miles. The last of the morning was being chased away as the sun rose higher in the sky, thawing everything out. Even the cows seemed more active on one particular hill.

"I wish we could stay for a little longer," she sighed to Ian, turning her back on it all so that it might be easier to leave. Her arms folded, one hand still held on to the key they were yet to return. "I don't suppose your car has a secret time traveling device so we can spend an extra few weeks here?"

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From:

first_in_time

"That sounds rather handy," Barbara replied as she spied the spikey guards on the horse's ankles. It pawed the Earth half-heartedly.

The man who wasn't Steven smiled and walked back to his horse, tripping along the way. "Say, are you lost or something like that? You'd best be careful around these parts. One of the other knights might have at you. Then what? You're hardly dressed for such an affair and you have no horses. It will make life more difficult for you."

From:

splendid_roman

"You think it's likely that the knights will attack us?" Ian looked a little worried about that. Knights didn't usually go around attacking unarmed civilians, but then there was nothing usual about this place.

"Oh, bound to," the knight said. "Bound to. They've got to attack someone, haven't they."

Ian wanted to disagree with that, but couldn't quite. For one thing he was distracted by the knight getting on his horse and the unusual manner he sat on it. The horse seemed to be good natured about it at least.

From:

first_in_time

They could always not attack someone, Barbara thought, but said nothing about it.

"Could you then perhaps show us the way out?" she asked instead. "We merely want to go home."

"Oh, I'm afraid not," the knight replied, "no way put of these things. Got to fight for it!"

Barbara sighed under her breath. "Please? We...we're not very good at fighting and we just want to -"

She was cut off by the knight falling suddenly from his horse as he waved his hand. Barbara was about to rush forward and see if he was alright, but another sailed into their spot, clearing the now abandoned horse in a giant leap.

The new horse was coloured red and the rider in the saddle cried out as he swung a sword around his head.

From:

splendid_roman

"Aha, now here's a knight to fight." The White Knight happily got back onto his horse as the Red Knight turned to face him.

"What are you fighting for?" Ian asked him, hoping to avoid a battle.

"For the glory of battle," the Red Knight replied, swung his sword, missing the White Knight and falling off his horse himself.

Ian had thought that would be the end of it, but the White Knight merely waited for his opponent to get back on his horse before they began again.

"Perhaps we should leave them to it," Ian whispered to Barbara. He hoped they would be too distracted fighting to see them leave.

From:

first_in_time

"It might be best," she replied just as quietly and followed Ian back toward the road at a quick pace. Barbara avoided holding his hand, lest she hurt him, and resigned to merely keeping by his side instead.

"I suppose this means we're really in the story of Alice in Wonderland now. Although what it has to do with the Doctor and the TARDIS, I can't work out."

From:

splendid_roman

"I don't know." He wished he could work out what was going on - he hated not knowing. "Maybe it's just a group of people staging some sort of re-enactment of the book and we're stumbling around in it while they stay in character." He wasn't too sure about that and he sounded it.

Now they were far enough away that the sounds from the fight were fading, he slowed down. "I can't remember how Alice got out of Wonderland either. Did she just suddenly wake up?"

From:

first_in_time

"They must be terribly good actors if they can look like playing cards and jump over horses. Or throw their voices around teacups." Barbara folded her arms as she walked and looked around them, weary of anything else which might jump out at them suddenly.

"I think so - or was she being chased by something?" again, Barbara sighed, "it's has been so very long since I last read it that the smaller details escape me. I can't even seem to remember a lot of the characters, either."

From:

splendid_roman

"Me neither. I'd have re-read it recently if I'd known I needed the knowledge."

There was a fallen tree nearby big enough for them both to sit on, so Ian stopped there and sat on it. "I think a chess piece turns into a kitten at the end of Through the Looking Glass, but since we don't have a cat, I don't think that's any help either.

From:

first_in_time

Barbara remained standing and tried her best not to pace. "All we wanted to do was celebrate our marriage...I feel like we'll never live a normal life at this rate."

She made herself sit and cross her legs so that she didn't bounce her toes. "Maybe we'll have to work our way through different pieces of the story before we can go back to the car."

From:

splendid_roman

Ian put an arm round her. "We will live a normal life," he said, trying to cheer her up, although he wasn't really in any position to promise that.

"What parts of the story have we missed?" He thought back. "There's the white rabbit, croquet, the trial."

From:

first_in_time

"The griffin," Barbara put in, "and the tortoise. The caterpillar and the garden - I don't think I much like the idea of talking to rude flowers."

From:

splendid_roman

He chuckled. "I'm not sure they'll be any more rude than anyone else we've met." Except perhaps the White Knight, who was merely odd.

From:

first_in_time

After a moment Barbara chuckled, too and then rested in the crook of his arm. "You realise that this experience will possibly ruin any chance of reading Alice in Wonderland to our children?"

From:

splendid_roman

He smiled. "Maybe we'll be able to tell them Wonderland is real and we went there."

From:

first_in_time

"Just like time travel and aliens are real?" she gave him a small smirk, "if our children don't think we're mad, I certainly will."

From:

splendid_roman

He grinned at her. "They are real. Our children will think we're amazing for having time travelled and met real live aliens."

From:

first_in_time

Barbara sighed and kissed him briefly. "Amazing or not, we'd best keep going if we're to make it home any time soon. Otherwise we'll never have children."

From:

splendid_roman

"I don't think they've appreciate growing up in Wonderland." He stood up and waited for Barbara so he could put his arm back around her as they continued down the road.

From:

first_in_time

"Depends who else we meet. I can see a child enjoying playing with s white rabbit," she replied as they strolled, "or playing cards that walked around, although I'd like to think we could keep our children away from the queen of hearts...particularly since he enjoys chopping heads so much. I did always think that the queen was a woman, though."

From:

splendid_roman

"So did I. I'm sure she was in the book." He would have noticed if the Queen had been a man. As would Alice.

There were voices up ahead. Not wanting to come across anyone else wanting to fight or cut off their heads, Ian slowed and used a nearby tree to peer round. There were playing cards painting roses. Which was a good thing on one hand, since they weren't likely to be violent, but bad because it meant the Queen was probably nearby.

He let go of Barbara to step out from around the tree. "Excuse me. Could you tell me if the Queen of Hearts is nearby?" he asked the playing cards.

From:

first_in_time

Barbara stayed behind the tree. If anything happened she wouldn't be of much use, but at least she could surprise them which might throw them long enough for her to do something.

The cards jumped at Ian's appearance and seemed to shuffle themselves a little as they attempted to hide behind one another. It took them a moment to realise that it wasn't the Queen who was speaking with them after all. They breathed a collective sigh of relief.

"I hope the Queen isn't nearby," a three of spades replied after asking Ian to repeat the question, "we wouldn't have heads if she was."

From:

splendid_roman

Ian smiled, relieved. "He did sound very fond of cutting off people's heads." He looked back to the tree and gestured for Barbara to join them, since it looked safe. "I don't suppose you can tell us the way out of here."

"No, I don't suppose we can," the seven of clubs said.

"Unless you know anything about roses." A nine of diamonds came to the front of the pack, carrying a paintbrush and a tin of red paint.

From:

first_in_time

"What do you wish to know?" Barbara asked, approaching.

"How can you make them red?"

"...you plant red roses?"

"We thought we had-!"

"-but we hadn't-!"

"-and how we'll lose our heads!"

The cards all groaned and spattered more red paint all over the place.

From:

splendid_roman

"Does it really matter?" Ian asked.

The cards looked askance at him. "It matters to the Queen."

"Ah." Ian was thoughtful for a moment, wondering if they could use the cards' predicament to their advantage. Having noted his thoughtful expression the cards crowded round, until Ian frowned at them and they backed off a little.

"Do you have to work for the Queen?" he said in the end. "Couldn't you be gardeners for someone else?

From:

first_in_time

The cards all looked at one another, then back at Ian. Their expressions were rather blank for personified playing cards.

"Someone else?" a five of diamonds asked. "Like who?"

"There's a lovely garden next to a house back that way," Barbara replied, pointing the way they had come. Upon reflection she realised that the house could actually be in any direction, seeming as places kept changing on them.

"We can't work for someone else!" said a club, holding a bucket of red paint that sloshed over the sides a little as he waddled over to Ian and Barbara. "We're the queens deck! She won't like us going off to work with someone else. That would be treason!"

"She?" asked Barbara cautiously.

"She."

"She has a beard."

"And a lovely beard it is, too."