first_in_time | Zagreus Sits Inside Your Head (for Splendid

Barbara looked out at the view as Ian put the last of their things in the car. From the front door of the little Bed and Breakfast, she could see beautiful rolling hills for miles. The last of the morning was being chased away as the sun rose higher in the sky, thawing everything out. Even the cows seemed more active on one particular hill.

"I wish we could stay for a little longer," she sighed to Ian, turning her back on it all so that it might be easier to leave. Her arms folded, one hand still held on to the key they were yet to return. "I don't suppose your car has a secret time traveling device so we can spend an extra few weeks here?"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

splendid_roman

"Does it really matter?" Ian asked.

The cards looked askance at him. "It matters to the Queen."

"Ah." Ian was thoughtful for a moment, wondering if they could use the cards' predicament to their advantage. Having noted his thoughtful expression the cards crowded round, until Ian frowned at them and they backed off a little.

"Do you have to work for the Queen?" he said in the end. "Couldn't you be gardeners for someone else?

From:

first_in_time

The cards all looked at one another, then back at Ian. Their expressions were rather blank for personified playing cards.

"Someone else?" a five of diamonds asked. "Like who?"

"There's a lovely garden next to a house back that way," Barbara replied, pointing the way they had come. Upon reflection she realised that the house could actually be in any direction, seeming as places kept changing on them.

"We can't work for someone else!" said a club, holding a bucket of red paint that sloshed over the sides a little as he waddled over to Ian and Barbara. "We're the queens deck! She won't like us going off to work with someone else. That would be treason!"

"She?" asked Barbara cautiously.

"She."

"She has a beard."

"And a lovely beard it is, too."

From:

splendid_roman

"Do queens often have beards?" Ian wondered.

"The Queen has a beard, so all queens must have beards," one of the cards answered and the rest murmured agreement.

They had either only ever known one queen or this one had such a pull that they imagined she was the norm, Ian couldn't tell which.

"Can you tell us which direction is away from the Queen's Palace?" he asked, since that was a more important question.

"We can," the three of spades said, nodding.

When he didn't immediately tell them, Ian changed his question to, "Will you tell us which direction is away from the Queen's Palace?"

That was a more difficult question to answer, it seemed. "Will we?" The three of spades turned to the other cards so they could debate it.

From:

first_in_time

Barbara turned to Ian while the cards discussed whether or not they would give Ian and Barbara directions. "I don't like this, Ian. We're going to have to do something dastardly to get out of here. I can feel it."

From:

splendid_roman

"Alice didn't have to." Not that it was necessarily a guarantee, but he didn't want to do something dastardly if they didn't have to.

The cards shuffled themselves so they were all facing Ian and Barbara.

"We won't," the three of spades said.

"But we will tell you which way to the Palace," the five of diamonds said. "It's that way."

"No, that way." The nine of clubs pointed in the opposite direction to the five of diamonds.

From:

first_in_time

"Alice's Queen was also a cleanly shaven woman," she retorted before the cards reorganised themselves once more. Barbara rolled her eyes at their reply and folded her arms. "Which one of you should we believe?"

"Me!" said one.

"No, me!" said another.

"Him! He's always been truthful to me! He once owed me money and he completely paid me back but without interest..."

Barbara turned to Ian with a sigh. It was his decision what they did.

From:

splendid_roman

They clearly couldn't believe anything the cards said, so they might as well pick a direction at random. Ian looked along the road and then back the way they'd come. Neither of them gave any indication as to their direction.

"There's a gap in that hedge," he said quietly to Barbara, looking over to their right. "Why don't we go across the field instead?"

From:

first_in_time

"Yes, alright," she replied and led the way toward the hedge, stepping though it just before Ian, then waited on the other side.

"I see why Alice got so frustrated with this place," she continued once they were walking side by side again, her arm looped in his. "It all seems rather wonderful until you're lost or need to have a proper conversation."

From:

splendid_roman

"I'm not sure Alice had many proper conversations in Wonderland. It was more of a delightful, odd journey." Which he really wasn't appreciating just at the moment.

"Let's head up the hill." The field seemed to be sloping upwards slightly, so it wasn't a hard climb. Although Ian didn't remember it looking like that when they started up it. "Maybe we'll get a good view at the top."

From:

first_in_time

"If we make it to the top," Barbara replied, remembering how they had to head away from the light before they finally made it out of that corridor. "Let's try and distract ourselves until we get up there - why don't we talk about...um...the very best times we had with the Doctor. Such as how we used to wander around the corridors for hours at a time and never find the same room twice."

From:

splendid_roman

"That was only good when we could find our way back. We walked for miles after finding that cinema." Admittedly they'd spent some time in the cinema as well, especially once they'd found it had some films from the future. But at the time it hadn't quite felt worth the journey.

From:

first_in_time

"At least we walked off all of that popcorn," she replied with a smile and nudged him gently with her hip. "I thought about kissing you in that cinema. At least twice."

From:

splendid_roman

"You did?" He looked over at her, surprised, and forgetting that the popcorn had at least been proper food, not just food bars from the machine. "I thought about putting my hand on your leg a few times," he admitted.

From:

first_in_time

She nodded, secretly pleased that she caught him off guard. "Life threatening dangers and adventures through time and space or not, you were still attractive and I still have hormones. At least you now know that you're welcome to touch my legs at any appropriate momènt you wish to."

From:

splendid_roman

He smiled at her. "I know that now." He stopped and twisted round a bit to brush the back of his free hand against her leg. He was in the perfect position to see a white rabbit crawl into a rabbit hole that was definitely too small for either of them.

"I just saw the rabbit again," he told Barbara as he straightened up. "Over there." He pointed to where it had been. "It was definitely wearing a waistcoat." If it had said anything it was too far away for Ian to hear.

From:

first_in_time

Barbara had been rather enjoying that touch but whirled around to see where Ian was indicating in the side of the hill.

"Let's go for a closer look," she said and trotted over to the hole too small for either of them to fit in. There wasn't anything go articulately special about it. It was small, round, surrounded by grass. That was it.

"Excuse me," Barbara called down the hole. She figured that it was all worth a shot. "Excuse me, Mr. Rabbit, are you home?"

From:

splendid_roman

"No." The voice was definitely coming from somewhere inside the hole, judging by the sound. "I'm very late." The white rabbit bounded out of the hole and nearly ran into Barbara.

"Excuse me," he said and turned to go up the hill.

"What are you late for?" Ian asked him.

From:

first_in_time

"A very important date, so if you don't mind!" the rabbit told them and hopped away up the hill.

"We should follow," Barbara said, "doesn't he go to the Queen's palace and after something, Alice goes home?"

From:

splendid_roman

"I don't remember. I suppose if we're following the book we'll have to go to the palace sometime." Even if they didn't really have a desire to see the Queen. But he did start off after the rabbit, having to jog to keep up with him.

Once they were at the top of the hill and Ian was resolving to be better at keeping fit, they did have a good view of wherever it was they were. The Queen's palace was at the bottom of the hill and it looked like the road circled around the hill, so you could reach the palace from either direction.

Curiously, the horizon seemed to be white, with roundels in it.

From:

first_in_time

Barbara hadn't spotted the horizon, she was too busy trying to keep up with Ian who was trying to keep up with the rabbit. She really wasn't built for running. She got to the top and rested on her knees as she sucked in deep breaths.

"Which way?" Barbara puffed, trying to straighten.

From:

splendid_roman

Ian put a hand on Barbara's back. "I don't know." He had been distracted by the view and the rabbit had vanished. Presumably down another rabbit hole. "Maybe if we stay here for a while it'll reappear." And if it didn't, they could decide where to head next.

From:

first_in_time

Oh, good. If they stayed she'd be able to catch her breath. Barbara slowly started to take in the view: the Queen's residence, a hedge maze, the pretty house with the tea party and the procession of cards marching along a road not to far away. No white rabbit to be seen, however.

"It will be dark soon," she said softly, "we may have to move."

From:

splendid_roman

"Assuming the sun moves the same way as it does at home." It looked like it was setting, but Ian wouldn't be surprised if it bounced back up or there was a second sun at night or something.

Looking around, nowhere looked especially like a good place to go. He was sure he could see the sea in the distance in the other direction, but if it did get dark, that wouldn't be the best direction to go in.

"We could wait until it gets a bit darker than then head towards the lights."

From:

first_in_time

"And then have something come at us in the dark when we can't see all that well," Barbara said and wrapped an arm around Ian's waist. "Maybe we should wait for a little longer and see if the sun will set a little more. We could walk down the hill in semi light, then be close to the palace by dark which might hide us from most of the guards."