first_in_time | I Will Always Love You, Baby

I Will Always Love You, Baby

After she was dressed and ready for the day, Barbara Chesterton watched her reflection as she washed up the breakfast things. Alfie was late to help her but for once she didn't mind since it gave her time to think. They had celebrated Ian's running for council the night before and she felt awful to be the bearer of bad news, particularly she'd had chances before.

Once she had finished, she found Ian in the back garden with some of the boys, constructing another hammock.

"May I talk to you for a moment?" she asked once he looked free enough. Some of the boys made noises to suggest that Ian was in trouble.

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"We already struggle to cope some days. How are we going to handle another little being demanding all of our attention, time and energy?" Barbara let go of Ian's hand to hug him to her. She buried her face into his chest.

"We'll find a way," he said, putting his arms around her. He didn't know how yet, but they'd need time to get over the shock and think.

Barbara sighed heavily into Ian's jacket, feeling more calm by the minute.

"I feel like an awful person," she said, "I should want this child and be excited about caring for it, particularly as others would love to be in my position but can't."

"I know." He sighed. "I wish we could be excited about having a baby, like anyone else would."

"Maybe we will in a little while," Barbara told him and pulled back a little ways. She wasn't crying but a single tear was sitting in the corner of her eye. She caught it with the tip of a finger before it could roll down her cheek. "If we find the energy somewhere to reorganise and start training for a brand new baby, we might look more forward to it."

"Maybe we will." They had ended up being excited about John before he was born, after all. He kissed her cheek and took her hand again, so they could start walking, albeit taking the long way home. "If I can convince the council to stop cloning children whose parents aren't here, at least we'll end up with fewer children to look after once the current lot have grown up and moved out."

"I hope you can. Aside from that it's just cruel." Barbara rested her head on Ian's shoulder as they walked slowly.

"It is," he agreed. He let go of her hand to put an arm round her waist. "It's going to be different - no school holidays and irregular hours," he warned her. They'd already had this conversation once, but they hadn't been expecting a baby at the time.

"Whilst other work goes on as normal," Barbara finished. "If there were to be a bright side, a new baby won't hurt your campaign." Since the other members of council were rather insistent that every able bodied person be involved in procreating, Barbara falling pregnant would only make them look favourably upon Ian.

"I suppose so," he said thoughtfully. He could certainly make himself out to be a family man, concerned about children. "At least the elections are before the baby will be born, so by then I won't be teaching and campaigning." They should probably get a calendar and work out a due date sometime.

"Hopefully that will mean that you'll have a little more time for baby. Do you think that the council will go easy on you for your first couple of months?" Barbara asked with a slight frown.

"I can't imagine that they will," he said slowly. "There's bound to be a lot of new things to understand and lots to do." Which did make him worry a little at how much time he'd have to help with the baby. "Do you think I should withdraw?"

"No, if you do how else will our alternate views be considered? You know that don't really listen at the town meetings," Barbara kissed Ian's cheek. "Somehow we'll cope. It seems impossible now but we should be able to work something out."

"There's no guarantee I'll win the election anyway," he pointed out. "But we'll find a way to cope," he agreed. "And we'll love this baby just as much as we love Johnny."

"But you have a good chance at winning since you're one of the youngest to try," she told him and wrapped an arm around his waist.

"Perhaps." He shrugged. He wasn't sure what it was that would influence people's votes. "I suppose I'll at least be a chance from the stuffy councillors we have now."

"A good change," Barbara added, "you've got fresh ideas and, unlike most of them, you have a family. They all preach about the importance of building up families but most of them live on their own."

"Very true. Maybe they should have a few teenagers come and live with them, they'll soon learn what having a family is like." He grinned.

"Or we could work out a way to get them pregnant. Let's see if they're still all for building families when they're running on a lack of sleep and baby's crying is fraying their last nerve." Barbara chuckled.

Ian chuckled too, but then sighed. "I'm not looking forward to going back to that lack of sleep."

"Me either, particularly when we still have John to deal with and I've got lessons to write and work to mark. I'm not looking forward to being so large again that I can't stand up for long periods of time."

Barbara scratched the back of her head then looked up at Ian. "We could put the baby up for adoption," she said hesitantly. Barbara wasn't keen on the idea but if they couldn't cope, it was an option.

"I'm not sure about that," he said slowly. "It might be better for the baby, but I don't think I can just hand it over to someone else." They should consider it, the same as they should consider all options, but he knew he'd love the baby once it was born, which would make it hard to hand over.

"I suppose that if someone is truly desperate to have a family they could always come and help with the teenagers." Barbara bit her lip in thought. "I can't see myself giving up a child I'd work so hard to carry, just like I can't ever see myself aborting a child. Willingly, that is."

"Then let's not give it up." If neither of them could do it, then there was little point in trying. "But perhaps we should look seriously into getting someone to help. Or giving some of the older teenagers more responsibility for the younger ones."

Barbara nodded and looked deep in thought. "We could trial giving them more responsibility and if that doesn't work we can look into hiring someone to help us."

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